mike sterling's progressive ruin

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Mighty Mouse is a big jerk. 

Mighty Mouse #55 (1954)

In Mighty Mouse's world, pelicans don't deserve to eat.

Friday, August 06, 2004

The laziest post...of all time. 

Quick link weblogging:

Pal Dorian (who is gay, so he can get away with this sort of thing) details the gayest comic of all time.

Not a comic link, but worth a gander...an overview of the worst role playing game of all time.

Scott Saavedra begins his own San Diego Comic Con report (of all time).

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Is it hot in here, or is it just you? 

Okay, just to clarify...I have no problem with Elfquest existing. I'm all for it. I'm glad people like it. It just doesn't do anything for me. But one issue did include an elf orgy (SFW, scroll halfway down), so I guess it can't be all bad.*

Also, since I was talking about Starfox's amazing super-power last time, pal Josh lets me know that Bliss from DV8 also had the power to give people "the happy feeling." And didn't Fascination from Gatecrasher's Technet have a similar ability? (Pal Mojo IV, I'm a'lookin' at you.)

As long as I'm posting the sexiest entry ever here on "Progressive Ruin - After Hours," here's a link stolen from Fark that isn't political flamebait: a quick look at Veronica's toplessness and Betty's alleged nudity from a recent issue of Betty and Veronica's Double Digest.

Which Sexy Comic Book Villainess Are You? You know you want to know.

Here's a page about Jean-Claude Forest, creator of Barbarella (minor cartoon nudity at 2nd link).

The official page of Grin And Bare It, a very funny European magazine of good-natured naughty cartoons. (Link definitely not safe for work, young'uns, or prudes.)

* By the way, never do a Google search on "elfquest orgy."

1. You know what I don't get?
Elfquest. Now, nothing against creators Richard and Wendy Pini or their legion of fans, but I just seem to have this blind spot regarding the Elfquest family of titles. They just make absolutely no impact on me...when I try to read a sample of it, it's like it just passes directly into my eyes, through my brain, and out my ears, leaving no trace of itself behind. I mean, I see elves, I see wolves, I see more elves...then my eyes begin to glaze over. I realize a lot of people love this series, and it does (generally) sell well for us, but...well, I guess I'm just not invited to the Elfquest party.

2. I was listening to pal Dorian and pal Ian talk at the store yesterday, when I heard Dorian explain that the Marvel character Starfox's superpower was, for all intents and purposes, the ability to give other people orgasms. When you get right down to it, that's a pretty happenin' power. I mean, that gets around all the subliminated sexuality of guys in tights "punching" each other. And besides, just look at the guy...he clearly can't give anyone an orgasm the normal way.

3. Happy Birthday to Shane over at Near Mint Heroes!

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Today was new funnybook day, and this should also be the last day for the foreseeable future that we're getting our stuff shipped from Diamond via UPS, since we're now in a position to start picking it up ourselves again. Fortunately, this time UPS arrived good and early and all our boxes showed up...unfortunately, whoever did the packing neglected to include several items (mostly indie titles and some trades). Sigh.

Though we got a lot of stuff in, I picked up very little...the new Love & Rockets #11 is excellent, as always (and features a letter from one of my long-time customers!), DC Comics Presents Superman continues the trend of a so-so story paired with a really good story (Stan Lee and Darwyn Cooke's lighthearted tale is simple but quite charming), Firestorm #4 continues to be engaging, Swamp Thing #6 wraps up the story with a somewhat-superheroesque slugfest (still enjoyed it, but am anxious for the new writer's arrival), and Mad Magazine #445 (I think I've said it before...even if some of the jokes fall flat, the wide variety of cartooning styles is always very enjoyable). I also picked up volumes 3 and 4 of the highly entertaining Adventures of Barry Ween Boy Genius...why wasn't I reading this before?

In other news:

  • If you want me to add you to my weblogroll, just call me "The Greatest Comics Blog in the Multiverse" and that'll do it. (And it's a good weblog too...comic and pop culture and whatever else he feels like talkin' about.)

  • I was watching the most recent episode of the Teen Titans cartoon, the one with Terra's betrayal of the team on the behalf of Deaths...er, Slade, and I couldn't help but remember Marv Wolfman's revelation in the later issues of the original New Teen Titans run (just before it went reprint) that Terra and Deathstroke were having a more...intimate relationship. That's not exactly the kind of thing you want to be thinking of when watching this cartoon. Talk about getting the creeps.

  • A Blue Devil website. This makes me inexplicably happy.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

And so it's come to this: pal Sean, AKA Flesh-head, has a little ol' weblog of his very own -
Flesh-Head's Treehouse of Random Goodness. Let us all welcome this newest member of the Associated Comics and Pop Culture Webloggers of Ventura County, CA and Outlying Environs (which is, as always, ACAPCWOVCCAOE for short).

The count of my victims so far: one coworker, two former coworkers, and two customers. The Weblogging Gods are pleased.

Oddly enough, I'm not the only one writing about the ACAPCWOVCCAOE tonight - as I was typing this, I checked the Comics Weblog Update-A-Tron 3000 to see who else was updating, and found that Comic Treadmill is a'feared, and rightly so, of the mighty Ventura County strike force. Don't worry, we promise to do only good. Well, mostly...I can't vouch for pal Dorian.

Yes, I know, it's a weblog post just about weblogs. More comic talk tomorrow, I promise.

1. So I understand that there's some online comics columnist somewhere making a few snarky comments about comics weblogs. Eh, whatever. To be fair, looking at his previous "articles," his shtick appears to be making snarky comments about whatever that week's particular topic happens to be, so I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Besides, if he's true to form with other comics weblog critics, he'll have a weblog of his own soon enough.

Actually, the only thing that peeves me is that he linked to
pal Dorian's site, and not mine. Man, how does he rate?

2. I'm the last person on the planet to finally see the premiere of Cartoon Network's Justice League Unlimited, and this creaky old DC fan got a kick out of it. Tons of brief cameos in the scenes on the satellite (was that Blue Devil's head I saw poking up there? And Johnny Thunder's Thunderbolt, and Booster Gold, and Gypsy (Gypsy!), and Aztek, and and and....) Like pal Tom, I found the voice they used for Green Arrow a little off-putting...nothing wrong with it, aside from my own preconceptions as to how his voice should sound, but I got used to it quick enough, so no big deal. I did like the nods to DC's past continuity (the Green Lantern/Green Arrow team-up, GA's idealogical conflicts with Captain Atom being reminiscent of his verbal sparring with Hawkman, GA's eye for Black Canary). Also like Tom, I found the quick and easy way they took out Brimstone bit of a cheat, but I'm willing to overlook it in favor of the broader point that they were making with the episode. Plus, it was nice to see just how the boxing glove arrow worked, exactly...seemed a little awkward to just shove that into a quiver ("the actress said to the bishop").

I'm looking forward to the next one, which adapts Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon's "For the Man Who Has Everything" from Superman Annual #11. It got me to pull out my copy from the vast Mikester Comic Archives for a reread...and holy cow, it's 19 years old now? I wish Tempus would stop Fugiting so darn fast.

2a. Here's a fan site for Justice League Unlimited, which has a small screen capture of one of the satellite crowd scenes. The official Cartoon Network site is here, and it includes an episode guide for all this season's shows.

Monday, August 02, 2004


Witches Tales #13 (August 1952)

One of the most awfully-printed comics ever (and that's including 70s Marvels), this comic was chock full of terrible stories...the cover story "The Torture Jar" would have been a good one, but most of the captions were in cursive, and I could feel my eyes beginning to bleed trying to read the darn thing. There's another story which involves Bozo the Clown (no relation), and then there's this story:

Professor George Denton has been working on his powerful super-strength formula for years...careful planning, long nights of hard work, and extensive research have led up to...feeding it to the dog:

The dog's name is Doddo, by the way. "Doddo." Anyway, the super-strength formula has instead made Doddo the unfortunately-named dog into a savage creature that demonstrates no super-strength whatsoever:

However, the professor seems to believe that this means his experiment was successful, reassuring his daughter that he beloved dog would turn back to normal shortly. Karam, who is, I don't know, an assistant or something, seems to think that the formula was a success as well. "I'll be strong enough to amass a fortune! Power! Influence! And then perhaps the lovely Liza will be mine!" From a formula that, as demonstrated so far, only makes dogs additionally scruffy and unpleasant, mind you.

So, yes, Karam sneaks back to the lab and downs the formula, turning him into a hideous creature that's sure to win Liza over:

And, as one might expect, rampaging ensues, complete with a front page above-the-fold photo on the award-winning Daily Blur. Or Blurb. Or Blurx:

Meanwhile, as the nights wear on and Karam continues his shenanigans, the Professor notices that his formula supply is mysteriously decreasing. That night, Prof stakes out the lab, and spots Karam sneaking in. The professor busts in on Karam, catching him red-handed, but too late! Karam takes a swig of the formula, and starts chasing the professor around, all the while carefull enunciating the word "Growl:"

Liza happens upon the scene, and the professor, realizing the threat the monstrous Karam poses to her, manages to get his hands on his own formula...and he himself transforms into a monster! This of course does wonders for Liza's sense of well-being:

However, the professer and Karam fight to the death, while Liza looks in horror and provides some stunning commentary:

The battle is finally decided when, the captions tell us, the professor overpowers Karam since "the professor was far stronger than Karam originally, his [the prof's] superior strength was decisive!" Yes, even though this was established at no point prior in the story, and the way the characters were drawn, Karam was a young man and the professor relatively older.

After dragging Karam from the fire (since the building they were in turned into a raging conflageration during the battle), the now human-again professor reveals to the waking Karam that, due to consuming too much of the formula, Karam will always be a slightly unshaven man with a pug-nose, a Beatles haircut, and no ironing board. Karam, angered at the news, jumps at the professor, but Prof dodges and Karam goes hurtling over the previously-unseen cliff, and changes his hair color at the same time:

And thus does another man learn the folly of...um, drinking spurious super-strength formulas, I guess.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

I can't believe
Thought Balloons beat me to linking a story about Jack Kirby's daughter Lisa (registration required - Bugmenot) from my own hometown paper. Anyway, she's planning a series based on some of Pop's previously-unpublished work.

And that's probably it for posting today. See you tomorrow!

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